Harper, a young woman in her early 20s stands before us very anxious. It is difficult for her to focus at times and her presence is also awkward. It takes a moment for her to share with us that she is in recovery. She was not an alcoholic nor was she addicted to any type of a drug but rather she is in recovery from being sexually assaulted by someone close to her that she trusted. Harper is a gymnast. She was living out her dream and working towards maintaining her college scholarship when something started happening to her that she couldn't put into words. But she also didn't feel like she had the power to say no so, she stayed silent. She put all of her energy into her work and didn't address the trauma that she was experiencing. There's something to be said about feeling like you are standing on an island all by yourself with no one to talk to and no one to help you. This is a difficult story of what has and could happen to someone who experiences repeated trauma in their lives and fights to regain their voice. When she decides to say “no” her power floods back into her like a forceful river, but the recovery affects her for a lifetime. It is also a story of strength because Harper eventually realizes that what was happening to her was wrong and that she could speak out, and when she did people listened. Sometimes being a voice for yourself and others and being heard by all is the greatest gift that we all have but may not know it until we use it.
Chapters of My Life
(Harper, a woman in her late teens looks out of the window for a moment. She then takes a hold of her wrists as if it is speaking to her. A slight smile.) I remember seeing on a TV show once that I was watching with my mom a woman had a car accident and many years later after she had recovered her knees would start hurting and she would always say that it was going to rain that day. (She looks out of the window again, still rubbing her wrists.) It was like the Gods were speaking to her through the car accident. As a kid, I thought that was really cool. (Smile) The idea that you could have a traumatic situation happen and for the rest of your life you are able to almost be a fortune teller, at least of storms. (Beat) But then it happened to me. Now I feel a throbbing in my wrists when it's going to be a bad day, a storm or… something. Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I wake up so many mornings just assuming that it is going to be a terrible day that my mind allows me to play games on myself. I wish that my wrist didn't hurt. I wish it was all in my head. But it happened you know. On a day like today, when I woke up and looked outside the window of my dorm room and saw the clouds and I knew it was gonna rain. I knew it was going to be a rough day. And that's when it happened. All traumatic experiences leave trauma, like a car accident or someone who unexpectedly opens the door for a nice-looking person and then they are brutalized. Just normal people living their days trying to do normal things and then all of a sudden, the clouds go from puffy white to grey to black and when you wake up life is never as it was. Life will never be that way again.