Some adults would say that the most ridiculous thing they have ever seen and experienced is the teenagers true attempt to engage themselves in deep rooted good old-fashioned love. But the older you get the more you realize and look back in reflection about how absolutely terrible and tragic high school relationships are. So, in this Teenagers Guide on How to Survive a Relationship... or Not you will see a deep dive into the ins and outs of the treacherous path for the high school teenage relationship. From the first date mistakes, to the tricks of dating a mama’s boy, to watching teenagers stay on their phones as the only means of communication, to the revengeful and crazy ex, to finally possibly finding their happily ever after these stories should spark interest, humor, and make us all who are adults thankful that high school is over, while the teenagers in the room will laugh with complete and utter understanding. Relationships are difficult so any opportunity we get to laugh at this is time well spent! *The author gives permission for any combination of pair to perform this selection. Change pronouns as needed.
Teenagers Guide on How to Survive a Relationship… or Not
(Scene opens with Girl and Boy standing a few feet away from each other. She looks at him, giggles. He looks at her winks. They both smile as they take their initial steps towards each other and finally have the sweetest, simplest, most innocent kiss on the cheek. Girl melts. Boy melts and the skip away hand in hand. Once almost offstage they stop, laugh loudly, turn to the audience and return. *Please note that pronouns can be changed for any pairing of identity.)
Girl: That was such a lie.
Boy: Right! I mean a big mammoth lie.
Girl: Like when you told me my braces were cute.
Boy: Or when you told me that my kinda- stash was still manly.
Girl: Right.
Boy: Right
Girl/ Boy: Right!
Boy: Why did we do it to ourselves?
Girl: Why do we lie when we are in relationships with people we say we love-
Boy: - who we are supposed to be able to tell anything to-
Girl: - and yet we lie about the simple things-
Boy: - the stupid things.
Girl: Aghhh men!
Boy: Aghhhh women!
Girl/ Boy: Aghhhhhh humans!
Boy: I wonder if cats and dogs have issues like this?
Girl: (Annoyed) Are you serious- you’re serious.
Boy: (To audience) Think about it, when a Great Dane and a Poodle get into a fight over who flirted with the German Shepard- and then they fight- or bite- and then the owners get in the middle because they don’t know that those dog barks are really the dogs telling each other that, “Hey she’s mine dog and you can’t have her” and then, then other dogs jump in and it ends up all over the internet but stupid humans think that it’s just a cat fight.